Monkey drafts a Garden Plan, According to Celestial Dictates
He fans his notes, swipes at the reelingbarbeque smoke of early October. "Thanksgiving".An oily haze--of singe and scalesscarves the potted avocado, the catcurled around its trunk, nose twitchingin...
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O---the poem takes big chances. any advantage with an opening line that is not declarative?He fans his notes AND swipes at the reelingbarbeque smoke. of early October. "Thanksgiving".get on with...
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you know, Bernie--I think you've helped me see something vastly important. (too many words? How about, yes!) The cat can go somewhere else, although she is 'the cat of the world', so to speak, the...
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I have to agree the poem is wordy, but interesting from how I read it.
View ArticleRe: Monkey drafts a Garden Plan, According to Celestial Dictates
O---so, "scarves the potted avocado" would be a waste of "scarves"? Is that what you are saying there?yes. beautiful phrase but this pom is about the monkey. save that beautiful descriptor as an...
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Osal I agree with Bernie's overall take on this piece. Let's see how it feels at his suggestion and for fun I am trying some verse stop/start changes He fans his notes and swipes at the reeling...
View ArticleRe: Monkey drafts a Garden Plan, According to Celestial Dictates
thanks, Cyn. I think the poem's better for the exchange.
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